Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Color Of Vision

I slept better last night than the night before...strange crazy dreams. Besides my sweetie has been out of town for the week or at least til tomorrow nite. You get really used to another warm body in the bed on so many levels. Needless to say, she is missed. Anyway, I was awakened at 4am by Christina Aguilera singing when I realized that I had not set the timer for the TV. Perhaps, subconsciencely, it was just company or noise to prevent the silence. It's been really hard to get out of bed on cool empty mornings...but somehow I managed.

Fast forward.... The drive in was good. It was really good that I had left on my target minute for a change. Much to my dismay, the traffic was the same and I wondered if I should have left sooner. I was listening to the soundtrack from Red Violin (an amazing collection of music) when I noticed the beautiful rainbow in the sky just over the hill ahead. Wow! Not only was it a reminder of God's promise to humanity and the earth; but just the sheer wonder of it all.

I couldnt help but be amazed by rainbows. They are something but they are also nothing. You can drive right through it with no effects...but is that true? Are there effects? For the vision of the many colors; is there an equal vision of a magnitude that we are not seeing? Is there something there in addition to the rainbow? Yeah, I know the atmospheric conditions necessary for one to appear; but is there more to it than that? If we saw in a different color of the light spectrum, what would appear that we missed before?

I pondered these things as I drove along amist the many tail lights and angry motorists. I exchanged smiles with a hispanic driver beside me. Then I wondered, "do I know enough people who are a different color than I?" Did I really "know" anyone spanish or mexican? Had I really sat down and conversated on a level deeper than going to the mexican restaurant? Hmmm.... the world appears different to every set of eyes. I don't have a good friend who happens to be mexican now that I think about it. I say it that way because in my little world, you are a friend first and your race/ethnicity was never your choice---so why should I hold it against you. We all know there are good and bad of every color; nobody's got the market cornered on any of several dividing topics. I think I will spend this day wondering about the color of my vision. What do I see, what do I notice, what do I avoid and why? I will endeavor to sneak outside my comfort zone.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The Art of Goodbye ... Parting with Passion

Some say the most stressful things in life involve "loss" or "leaving" or "being alone." I heard a great quote from Quincy Jones that went, "You can tell a man's age by how much he resists change." Hmmm.... I look outside and I see that the season is about to change. I can look in the mirror and see that it has already changed. I have often responded with "only change doesnt change." I suppose it doesn't bother me that I look older or that I will be 40 this year or that any number of things in my life are always subject to change at any time. Why do we shrink from telling or enjoying our true ages? What is the mystique of looking like something that you are not...fooling everyone who looks? Why are we so fascinated with youth? I certainly wouldn't go back to high school or college without the mind I have now; which would change how I saw everything then. Perhaps some things are best left to memory. I prefer to enjoy the be 100% where I am dealing with the lot life has dealt at this very moment. What's wrong with that? Yes, if it's sadness, then let me have it all. If it's disaster; then I will deal with it and go on. What doesn't kill you may make you stronger; or it may just mame you for life. Either way, it won't be soon forgotten. It will change you.

For what ever reason, I have gotten good at goodbyes. Everything changes. Perhaps we will meet again at another time or on different shores. That remains to be seen. It is the energy of the NOW that creates a biosynthetic log in our minds including all the sights, sounds, smells and emotions of each significant "moment" we experience. The art of goodbye involves accepting that things are going to change, committing to the things that won't and doing what it takes with what's left. I keep a special piano piece in my head for just such occassions that I might be enjoying my own company on a lonely country road as the wind walks through the grass around me or I am leaving someone whose friendship I have enjoyed immensely or it's just one of those days I want to be alone. Everythings seems better set to music. Try watching a movie with no music; especially drama or horror; it gets pretty boring before it gets hokey. The majesty of a wide blue sky kissed with monsterous billowing bolders of clouds with an occassional bird in the distance is the music of eternity. The howl of the wind, the shadows of the light and the orchestra of nature remind us that the seasons do change. We are only temporary flowers that wilt as time passes; even the world itself. NOW is always the time to do whatever you are waiting for a special occassion to do. Accept and embrace in 100% intervals.

Friday, September 22, 2006

A Hero's Friday

More Pics: I.T.Joe & Dr. Pacs | The Incredible Dr. Pacs | HMS Heroes Ready for Action | Christy & Unmasked Heroine

On to the good news and there is so much of it today!

Number 1: It's Friday!!! That means that the only obligations are voluntary and discretionary. That's always good. I can recharge after a long and busy week. The season is changing and I can get some things done around the house. I can hopefully do some drawing and even some coloring in my giant Superman coloring book [stop laughing at me, its very theraputic — Don't knock it til you've tried it.]

Number 2: Going home to a great wife. Regardless of how things are stressing or the rat race has stolen my mouse, home is typically my refuge. I had a great night last nite dressed as a superhero [no, not like that]. I had a gig for a HMS convention at Hilton downtown Nashville. I had a great heroine partner, and some really cool people to work for; not to mention a great mass of 200+ people to mingle and take snapshots with while I "got my big funky chicken on." In a addition, I got to meet the creator of the characters and the artist of the comic book. Cool beans! As I get older, I notice I tend to favor location, good people and pleasant energies — money is nice; but sliding down the list. I hope to have some real pictures soon of the cool costumes. Props to Gary Musick for an incredible site design, inventive crystal statues and fantastic backlit/inside glow seating and tables. Shout outs to Carmen who coordinated schedulings and events with a stressless demeanor while ignoring severe hunger with the daintiness an angel. Also to LeeAnn for some fabulous costume work. Christy of HMS did an unmatched job of coordinating the thematic accuracy and convention events. That girl deserves a raise! And last but certainly not least, my incredible partner who was a blast of fun, Ashley A.K.A. Dr. Pacs. Not to be forgotten, the doll at Bedford Falls Entertainment, Connie who doubles as Minnie Pearl, that made this cool opportunity happen. Anyone can send me some pics from the night or a link. My wife bore with my stories of "hero antics" til almost 1am before we awoke to another workday.

Number 3: I get back to the gym. My week has not allowed for proper focus on training, eating or relaxing. Equally theraputic but in a different way, working out is good for the body and also the mind, soul and emotions. It really helps clear the ole noggin of anything it might be working through.

Number 4: My son plays at the Gibson! Aside from being a great kid with a lot of talent, he is also a nice person. Lemonade doesn't grow naturally; you get to make it from the lemons of life and he's done well with making many landmark turns. He plays with Falling for Yesterday as a guitarist. I have two good sons and proud of them both.

Number 5: Seeing my nephew... Surely there will be time to see Christopher Michael. He is an amazing little bundle. He is his father spit out again. My brother Chris and wife Missy do a great job with raising him.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Anything for love...

I am not sure where this blog is going or even where it came from. Nonetheless, I am going to let it rip. Today is crammed full of exciting things. In fact there were so many, I had to say no to some of them including a poker game with some of the guys (not that I know how to play). Others, I will hold out til tomorrow to share....depending on how the night goes.

I left home anxious to get this day over. One of the things I needed remained behind. Thank goodness, my lovely wife was able to drop it off for me. We have had great workouts all week when we could squeeze them in and are definitely ready for the weekend. But that makes for late nites to bed and early mornings to rise. Needless to say, we are probably running on almost fumes.

Maybe I am a bit stressed. Given, tonite has a very high potential for blunder under the given circumstances--some or most of which are beyond my control. Like a lamb with the feet of a lion, I charge into the abyss. Nobody checks out til He says so! Today is also the birthday of a good friend of ours and some festivities are in place for that as well.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Seething in the Light; The Glistening Unblack

My pensive co-worker came in to the office and found me in an odd stance. I was standing in the room without the lights on watching the shards of light come through the blinds as then crossed my hands. No blood or wounds; but the sharpest of angles lay the surgical lines of light. After a clearing of the throat; he swaggers to his desk and mumbles ok to himself. Of course, a moment like that requires some definition. And thus, the blog begins...

Light is fascinating. It reveals what is already there and its absence conceals what may have never been there. How interesting it is to watch it wrap or stretch across a floor or objects, not really changing the color but in its illumination we decifer it as just having light on it. The color is the same but "lighter." You can feel the warmth from it and scientificly I assume it has some weight; but how fantastic a substance! As water leaves things wet; light leaves its own fingerprints....evidence that it passed this way.

What are the mysteries of the light? Can we travel in or like the light? Light: granter of life and death...what a coin.

Slow down and watch the light, how it coats, reveals, hides, colors, illuminates etc. Hold out your hand, close your eyes and feel its presence while moving into and out of the light. Notice the change from light to dark; the feel, the weight, the presence of each. What a wonderful invention!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

New Heroes of Old Dreams....

My idea of heroes has changed over time. Yeah, capes, rippling muscles, and super abilities along with a mask really defined heroes for me as a kid. Afterall, comic books were my first friends. Now I tend to admire my dad for his strength and fortitude. I admire my friend Joel not only for how he cares for his son and family but his ability to face the high ground when he's standing in mud. He's done some amazing thing career-wise that just astound me. I see heroes at church, righteous men willing to go to battle or standup for what's right even when it costs them many precious things. Heroes rush into a situation while the rest of us are running to safety. Firemen from 911 come to mind immediately.

Its always extraordinary when you can see a choice that you probably wouldn't have taken for the fear or the cost, being made by someone else who is just flesh and bones just like you facing all the same fears and costs that would have given you pause or flight. Not to mention the ability to self-sacrifice for the sake of others you don't even know; to love people you've never met or who never knew or liked you [yeah that guy too, what a hero...the Big J].

Those are the kinds of heroes I spend my time looking for. They don't need capes. They have hearts the size of Texas and a will bent on doing the right or best thing. They don't have to have fancy cars or hot women or cameras following their every step. True stength is silent; it never needs to be voiced by its posesser. It speaks volumes for itself. That's worth admiring. The capacity for love in the human heart is INVINCIBLE when we can let it out! I love that about being human. If you prick us; we do bleed. But we also heal and we also choose. To be human was never our choice.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Ahh...the Rain

The rain is pouring down like the bottom fell out. It always reminds me of growing up. There was a period of time that we had a tin roof. When it rained; sometimes it seemed you could count the drops as they fell. It was like a great lullabye; other times the effect was not so peaceful. I remember the thrill of running out onto the porch to watch the ribbons of water streaming from the roof, forming little rivers for the paper boats we would build later. So much rhythm in the falling water, from puddles to tiny water rapids, all creating a symphony of wetness soaking a parched earth. Sometimes you could hear the grass sign from the relief. Here's one of my short rain poems...

It fell, it ran, it came down.
From the highest to the lowest
From tower high to gutter low
It fell, it ran, it came down.

So do men's spirits frown,
From glee highest to doom low.
From the exhalt to the plummet
From the summit top to valley low.

Then waxes the moon
A demon dwelt by doom,
A doom demanding death,
A death from sky to ground.

The rain falls; each drop splatters
Swelling at impact,
Swelling to explosion,
Swelling beyond life's clutch.

Life gone and splatters pop
No longer having certain form,
Chaos rules a disjointed drip,
As it falls from drip to plop.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Great Movie...Hotel Rwanda

This movie is powerful in that an ordinary man armed with kindness and love for his fellowman is able to overpower looming situations, even life-threatening, around him and preserve his family at the brink of oblivion. It's worth watching again. When good men are afraid to stand; only the bad ones cast tall shadows.

Pensive Pondering Privates

They say I'm anal...severely stubborn; sometimes even conceited and self-righteous. Humph, if I wanted their opinions; I would have given it to 'em. Some of you know what I mean and others may just agree. I am not much of a bleeding heart....most people get what they got coming. Nothing lasts forever. There is always an end. Hmmm... I am sitting here wondering if I wasn't me; what would get done? But why should I care? Why am I this anal? It's ironic to me that people (myself included) judge others on what they "did"; but we judge ourselves on what we "intended." Trust me, that's a vast gulf. How do we get to a point of always giving the benefit of the doubt? How do we love like we have never been hurt? How do we trust like we have never been let down? How do we believe when no visible results exist? This is not a down-in-the-dumps blog; nor is it a woe-is-me. I actually feel great!

Speaking of "feeling" great... John F. Kennedy "felt" like his plane was level and on the right path. Clearly, the instruments presented another perception more like truth. How often do we get arrested by "feeling" rather than "fact." I try to do few things based on feelings. In the end, is it best or right or logical becomes my final discernment. I have noticed that women more often talk of "feelings" than men and that may be good or bad. I am not making any judgements on that one. However; too much of anything good is typically bad and too much of anything bad is typically worse. So you do the math.

Some say, "lets do nothing, it's Friday!" Well, Friday never stopped my train. Things still have to get done. What doesn't, makes Monday worse. I would always prefer to be busy and there is always something to do (if you really want to do something). I hate habitual laziness. It's always the same. It has a smell, sound and look. It's even contageous. I love to work and I love to play...but there is a time for each. Make every moment count! Whether its work or play or love...make every moment count. Be in that moment and own it; not a victim of it. There are signs you are a victim: maybe you have seen them.

Hello Friday. I will aggressively pursue and relentlessly overtake you into a fantastic weekend...not haunted or distracted by your memory.

Friday took all week to get here...hmmm...

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Monsters to the Rescue!

I love monsters! They are the greatest .... Why do we love being scared? What is the magic of something that feeds our deepest fears to entertain us. I am often reminded of my most fun memories from the joy in seeing cool, funny, fuzzy monsters like the ones on Muppets or Sesame Street. Now there monsters are different from the other "monsters" that completely terrify and kill. These basicly are just ugly people who are your friends. (ok, that sounds worse than I meant it; but you know what I meant, right)

Some time ago and still sometimes now, I consider starting my club, The U.D.C. (The Ugly Duckling Club). It is an homage to my early childhood as a nerd and ugly duckling—which I am still both of those with pleasure. Therefore; I am always inclined to root for the Underdog -- another greatlove from the past. These childhood icons help us explain and define ourselves at a time that communication with the outside world can be fierce. As a kid, superheroes were the only people not beating me up; so I read and drew comic books for a long time. Drawing bullies was my number one way to survive the school bus ride to and from school. Since I had to do it a lot, I got pretty good back then.

So if your day isn't going so well...have a tall cool glass of warm, fuzzy memories and laugh about a simplier time when anything was possible — or at least, that's what they told you. light, yellow light, green light, go!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Can't pass this one up--Had to post it . . .

My friend, Joel posted this one and after reading it; there's no question about the ability of the human spirit and its will to thrive. Often, those with far less inspire the masses buried under much. Read this story and feel the power of love.
Super People

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Slayer of Hopelessness

I am sure everyone knows the story of Peter walking on the water. It's still timeless. Jesus calls Peter out of the perfectly fine boat to come to Him on the water. Peter does pretty well at first and proceeds to walk on the water. No doubt, he heard some of his friends still in the boat chattering about how "impossible" the situation looked and of the coming sharks to his feet. Of course, Peter, being as human as the rest of us, takes his eyes off Jesus and focuses on his situation/circumstance. ...and surely, he began to sink into water that was "impossible" for him to walk on anyway.

I am the last person to become a "Jesus Nut" and the world has its share. Some of them may even be legit; that's not up to me to judge. But even the most sound and logic minds must give notice to the realities such a story exhibits. On the anniversary of 911, there are many things that may seem "impossible" and yet we are still here. We are still the land of the free and the home of the brave. We still have "hope" in a hopeless society.

How terrifying life must be for those who have become "hopeless". How would you function each day believing that nothing mattered, that you had no destiny, your presence on this ball of mud is completely worthless, you can never change-its always gonna be this way or I've screwed up too many things, people and times? I have yet to grasp the magnitude of a God who would send His own Son for those who didn't know Him or cared even less. In complete humility I can only declare, thank God I'm NOT God!

The victory is in the "maintaing your focus on Him" not your situation. Even a good situation can become horrible from the wrong perspective. Ever notice how rotten some day could be but you got involved helping somebody else with their "rotten" problems and you end up feeling much better....the magic of it all. I don't know much about these grand mysteries; except to be honest and say "I don't know; but it works!"

He (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit) has ALWAYS got a plan desiring only to prosper you and not harm you; bless you and not destroy you. Don't get me wrong, a "good" father always disciplines; but only because its for your benefit. Are we willing to learn, to respond to take the path less travelled? He's got you; do you have Him?

Monday, September 11, 2006

The Point of Communication

Good communication easily gets the point across. There are few things that cause more confusion than bad or excessive communication. I heard it said once, "never write what you can say, never say what you can imply..." I don't know who said it; but there is genius locked in so few words. It takes a while to develop the ability to drain out all the assumptions and really exude clarity in briefity.

I love the art of communication. Sometimes it just flows like water; other days, it's just cold molasses.

This weekend....
For the first time in my short life of 39 yrs. I had to take antibotics due to some flu or whatever going around. I am almost back to normal after a long 2 weeks of going at it natural. Actually, I probably would have been fine without it by now; but the doc was concerned about the "what if's" as in walking pneumonia. Anyway, I am almost back to 100%. Great to be back! I still maintain that the body has the power to overcome most things that attack it or the earth has a solution in its natural substances or minerals...but in the end; everybody dies of something.

I had the honor of celebrating my father's 60th birthday with him. He lives 175 miles from my home. It's about a 2.5 hour drive. My wife, Annie and I went to church with him after I spoke with him at the crack of dawn by phone. I had told him that I needed to get up and get ready for church. I just didn't say which church where. So, yes, he was surprised! I was actually driving by his house when I was on the phone with him. I had been planting some flowers (hearty mumms) at my mother's grave site. I also managed to squeeze in some time with my good friend, Joel down in Savannah, TN ( Home of Daryl Worley). He's one of the greatest and we had a great time with all the kiddies and their toys.

We all had a great trip. My dog loves road trips. There is something she loves about fresh air and having her head out the window. My wife, of course was her wonderful self. We got a great rainstorm on the way back with a heavenly display of sun-drenched clouds and dark skies. We all slept well and the new day is fresh upon us. Looking forward to an uneventful Monday quietly closing its door behind it.


Thursday, September 07, 2006

My "Not-So-Perfect" Perfect

It sure is great to have good sibblings. They can add a lot of light to some otherwise dull social events. I have 5 others and my other brother from another mother. I once asked one of my siblings what they hated about me most. The reply came pretty quick. It was "how comfortable I was in my own skin..." I offered my thanks for honesty and wished the same joy someday. People easily assume that just because someone is happy or smiling that everything is going right. Joy is not dependent on circumstances of life. Brother from another mother says it best in his blog I'll keep it in the family My "Not-So-Perfect" World


Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The Dance

"Looking back
on the memory of
The dance we shared
beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known
you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance,
I could have missed the pain
but I'd of had to miss the dance"

It was a beautiful morning with the sunrise painting the clouds. The morning so pleasant I almost forgot my sickness. Even at 80%, I have 100% appreciation for the gift of the dance. There is no way I could have known what would happen or how it all would turn out; but somewhere between faith and balls; I dared. I can hardly comprehend the beauty of the gift I get to treasure.


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

I love to HATE being sick

I know everybody gets ill from time to time...I just don't typically. However some bionic germ has infested my innards and rendered my weekend bedridden. It was not at all how I had planned my Labor Day festivities. Severe fever for 2 days, a night of strange dreams and at work now. Hopefully I am not contageous. I can hardly breathe; so I won't be endulging in any unnecessary conversation.

So an analitical person must wonder---so why am I sick now? Hmmm....I did go out Saturday with a fever and get some carrot juice. I was glad that I saw no one who would have engaged me in conversation. I told my wife that no one would know that I had a fever and I would be right back. Hmmm...the flip side is, maybe everyone had fever or some contagenon they were carrying around. I see a lot of people in a day and shake a lot of hands. I am military about washing hands before meals or etc. Now I wonder if I have been anal enuf about it. One thing is for sure -- I will be eating a lot more veggies. I used to eat a lot of carrots and pineapple.

I will survive this day. I will be completely well soon. I do not anticipate having to suffer this illness again for some time to come. Having gone over every meal, handshake and personal encounter or exposure in my mind; I won't be careless on this issue again.

Friday, September 01, 2006


It's been a cool week with great conversation. Alas, it is Friday again and a long one due to the Labor Day holiday. Isn't it odd that you DON'T work on LABOR Day? How did this holiday start and why? Maybe nobody cares at this point; it's a day off work! Does anybody remember the Knights of Labor? Some say the Labor Day story is incomplete without them.

Anyway, it's a great weekend for a roadtrip. Whether I take one or just relax at home remains to be seen. I would enjoy seeing some family and old friends but staying home with the sweetie isn't bad at all either. Have a safe, fun and maybe even exciting weekend/holiday; but whatever you do, don't labor in vain.