Wednesday, May 31, 2006

So Many Thoughts; So little BLOG

Thoughts of the Day:

A foot of body for every inch of face....Bruce Lee

Life is but space around the distractions...Micheal Russell

To truely have nothing; one must quantify the lack of something, making nothing something in the process.....maximusdoom

Well its been a bit; but I am back in the blog. Imagine drowning in a sea of pontification about any situation regarding the fascination of all things of creation. Summer is coming and with it comes the more liberal side of darkness.

Peddlars of Flesh: I see them on warm mornings and cool afternoons going to and fro selling only what God gave them to protect. One must wonder if they are all doing it out of need or pleasure. It can be saddening to witness what was once valuable now discarded without discrection; loaned without interest. Such is the way of man; to crave beyond control. His birthright would ensure so much more; but he prefers to crawl....its dirtier that way.

Pigs don't require pearls. For those who "pimp" them; are they much less than drug dealers? Doesn't each sell addictive products or reality lessers? It is quite a site to see a lepard interior in a Cadillac with matching wide-wall tires and a driver so alike it; they are indistinguishable until separation. I thought it was like the movies; but its worse — far worse; movies end and its paticipants pretend to play regular people, though they would not dare succeed. Pimps come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and even backgrounds — just like most everything else.

What drives or leaves a person with no other alternatives? How do people not rip out their innards from crawling so long against their bellies through the muck? Is the homo-sapien instinct so far gone that standing is beyond reach anymore? Why, after thousands of years; is man still selling his sisters, brothers and mothers; even his children?


Thursday, May 25, 2006

Suspended Beliefs

Can you be caught between opposing positions?
Can you be trapped inside yourself?
Ever been lost in plain view?

I found this wonderful artist, Claude Martinez and images when thinking about a blog on "suspended" that I was going to write concerning live and let live or be who you are; just don't expect me to be you. Everyone has been in a situation or had friends that did or are something that you aren't or don't choose. You typically keep the friends; not the whatever. Does anyone feel my vibe?


When Pigs FLY.....

What a spectacular day. It began with very dark clouds and lighting (my favorite) and now at lunch time the sun is out. I said a co-worker: "imagine someone strapped between the towers of the Batman Building with lightning bolts charging through them" LOL .... no not really as morbid as you might think; not to mention the view from there must be great. Suffice to say, I am an old comic book freak; they were my original friends. Napolean Dynamite was a cake walk. .....Luckily Time is a court jester.

Anyway; I am letting my fingers leak and hopefully some of this will become a point soon. I waited in line at lunch while wearing my glow-in-the-dark Smiley Face shirt and the guy behind me was very shocked at my clam happiness and patience. I responded: If you stand still long enuf; the whole world will come back around; or at least the pigeon that missed you yesterday. He laughed and concluded that I must be a "believer." Hmmmm.....sure; why not; I reckon I am. Its funny the assumptions we make relative to the disposition we see in people.

One might think that people who have been victims of whatever would be the last to inflict that same onto someone else — when pigs fly.


Happy Birthday!...Celebration of Time Again

Well, I enjoyed watching the shock in the eyes of my wife of four years at the opening of her birthday gifts. I NEVER anticipated being married or caring about someone so much; but I can say "at least once," I was wrong. (Some of you will take great humor in that statement.) That will be another blog. LOL.

She is my beloved "Pickle" and so it goes to have been and continue to be an incredible love story of unfathomable odds. I am pleasantly forced back in memory to our courtship, the many monuments I built and the crazy attempts to gain her eye, trust and attention. I did not hesitate to hold heaven and earth in place before her path; and after so much time; the desire is the same. I marvel at that.

I know me well and make no excuses for it...I would NEVER have imagined feeling this way. Hebrews defines faith as an action taken as though it "were" ...(jumping before you see the pool; so to speak). I treasure the thought of becoming "the groovy old couple" that everyone wants to be — still frisky, still spunky and still in love.

I remember planning the wedding, staring into the eyes of the many friends, family and na-sayers, the feeling of God being there and the movement of time and space around us. So thankful for our great pastors who took their time to slow us down and really consider the vows and how that relates to communication and the remainder of our days as one. I won't say everything has been perfect; but the rose is perfectly beautiful....well worth the thorns that guard it.

Happy Birthday, my love...don't fear TIME or its effect; it only creates evidence of our beautiful journey that continues and endures all things seen and invisble.

The LOVE STORY continues......it ONLY gets better.


Monday, May 22, 2006

To B.B. or Not; No Question

Gotta have 'em; hate to miss 'em.
It's a time of togetherness, love, chores, fun and relaxing. The best part of the weekend is uninterupted time with the one you love. There wasn't that much sunshine; except on the inside.

I love to eat!!!! EAT EAT EAT!!!! Went to BB King's and I really had eaten more than enuf at another restaurant; but since we were there; I thought we might as well order something small. Of course; 1/2 slab of ribs and bar-b-que is just a snack. What was amazing is how full we were; but the suculent aroma and tangy sauces immediately created an appetite. WoW! The ribs were really good and meaty too! The music was really groovy so we electric slid and danced there before rolling on down the street to Bourbon Street Blues for "all the blues we could use". It was a great weekend and only got better. Hmmm....can't wait to hit the Carribean.


Thursday, May 18, 2006

INVASION...One Blog From Friday

What a beautiful day!!! I should have cut the grass yesterday; but I waited for a prettier day (wink). I bet the weekend will yield a day even better than this one. The sky is a beautiful blue and the birds dart gracefully high and low. Hmmm.... blog topics: well how about the Invasion finale show?

It's a great show that ties in real, current family issues like divorce, remarriage, step sibbling rivalries, coping, and even the "still loving the ex"...not to be left out — the relationship between the current new partners. Oh, did I mention, all of that with an alien invasion backdrop. No, its not the X-Files; but it may be the next best thing. It's smart, funny, interesting and stocked with drama.

The 2006 aliens resemble glow-in-the-dark stingrays with extra tentacles. These creatures use our bodies as hosts and typically enhance human characteristics instead of changing them from human form. Unlike old alien depictions with big heads and bug eyes or grotesque figures; these remain just like the person you have always known; but a little detached. Of course, human enhancement is not a new concept...what if the makers of Viagra, McDonalds or Frito Lay are really aliens taking us over at our most basic levels? We would never see it coming?


Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Trapped Inside

Hmmm....not sure what to blog today. I have a haunting feeling lurking just below my surface that is effecting everything else; something pent up and held back; maybe even blocked or locked away; caged even or subdued. I can see the windows from the inside but not feel the warmth or the light from the sun. I can feel my body moving and my thoughts in motion; but not sense myself — somehow we are separated from me. It's not the first time but I don't remember the solution. I hope writing helps; why would't I remember something like that. I see the words leak from my fingertips and appear on the screen before me; feeling my eyes follow the tiny vertical line ahead of each sentence and wonder which is first — the words or the vertical line. hmmm..... That reminds me of a drawing I did once and I must track it down. I think I will create an alternate site for such doodles. Nonetheless, I feel as though I am almost fading from visibility....like in Back to the Future when the future Marty changed the past and erased his future.

People ask me all week "what is wrong" and I don't have the words to articulate what I don't know or understand; only it's evidence or footprints. They say you are so quiet; and yet it speaks volumes...I am trying to keep it down; submerged; hidden; but it seems to be the only thing in view. Maniac artists thrive on this kind of stuff....if only I were in a huge studio with canvas and paint all around me and emptiness; then the demonds could come out and play in safety. I am just trapped inside for a little while. I can feel the incubation occurring. That's ok; it's just "first home." The best part is that it involves no sadness; just an uneasy peace (yeah, that makes plenty of sense).


Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Don't Dare, Steve McNair!

Well, I guess you could say I am a little "old fashioned" about some things. Maybe it's a sign of the times or the condition of our souls....something stinks in Tennessee. I see a positive role model, family man, community-conscience, good-hearted person getting the shaft.

It's a business....yeah, I get that part. Wouldn't you think he had earned at least the descency of a phone call before getting to the workout facility. Amist many community help projects, risking injury and many great sports moments, is common tact too much to ask?

Steve McNair, Don't Dare Come Back...and surely the other players "should" be thinking something in the back of their minds.... This is obviously "normal business practice;" use 'em and lose em. Yes, I realize they are "paid meat" and that's the way it goes; but does it have to?
When will class again have more clout than cash? Continue enjoying life, health and family but only Remember the Titans! You will be sorely missed.


Monday, May 15, 2006

Botel Weekend

What happens when you cross a motel with a boat....you get a botel. Yes, its a boat that's a motel. I guess it could also be a hotel; but since you drive up; it's really got to be a motel.

I spent the weekend back in West Tennessee for first motherless Mother's Day. All things considered, it went very well. My wife booked a "surprise" location for our weekend stay. Since we had our beloved pet with us; it added an x-factor to the whole event. The Botel is located about a mile outside of Savannah; although it looks like its in Pickwick. It looked a little odd in the beginning; but turned out to be a great surprise.
It sat right on the Tennessee River with a two-story deck that you could sit out on and hang with friends as you watched the sun set. It was nice.

I spent Saturday cutting grass with my father—which we have done together since I was knee-high with a tadpole. It brought back many old memories and tall tales that just make you laugh to even think about. It was good to see him and to see us doing something together....a great distraction for what was to be evident and missing. Meanwhile my wife and dog are running errands and shopping. We are not typically apart but she understood that I needed this "son time" with my father; even if we never spoke a word about anything.

Ironicly; he never said much when I was a kid...now it's quite different. Sometimes it's TMI (too much information). We have a good relationship and I only anticipate that it will become better. We never grew up with much more than honesty and hard work; but the six of us are doing well. It is obvious ...the hole ... someone leaves when they depart; so we must endeavor to value everyone's presence to the fullest.

Sunday, I went to my home church, St. Paul A.M.E. Church in Hooker's Bend, TN....yeah, I know; but the place is named after John Hooker from the Civil War...etc....etc. Great to see some old friends and some friendly faces. I really enjoy the pastor, Rev. Bobby Carter from Jackson, TN as a friend and a pastor. He allows the Spirit to deliver the message to the souls of th people. I always enjoy talking with him; its just never long enough. Most people are afraid to "keep it real" for fear of all the things people fear; especially "religious" people.

Annie (the doggy) had a great time too and met many new friends. There was an RV Park near and of course everyone had their pets with them. Most were friendly...but her father was there to protect. :D

Well its raining again in grand ol' Nashville. Beautiful dark clouds shroud the Batman building only adding to the prevailing gloom of a day ONLY half way done.


Friday, May 12, 2006

The Splendid Next Thing

Well we have all made it to another celebrated Friday. A day that marks the beginning for some and an end for others. Every moment is precious and a gift. Certainly, everybody's Friday is probably different. As for mine....YEAHHHHHHH!!!!! Friday. Anyway...

The Splendid Next Thing begins....
It is a beautiful day here in Nashville with just a touch of chill in the air. I push through today reflecting on all the great things in my life and the significant one missing this year...my Mom. This will be my first Mother's Day without her, without making that visit, without sending that card, without bringing home flowers, or at least making that call Sunday morning. I am thankful that she is far better off and that her memory remains strong. So to those who have yet to experience such a loss; enjoy and treasure your time with her and get plenty of pictures and maybe even get her to write or you write something for her. HAPPY Mother's Day!

I am looking forward to getting home to my wife's embrace and perhaps even going to visit my Dad. I am sure he will enjoy the company or at least the thought. My doggy loves to travel; so she will be pleased as well. It's nice to drive across this great country and just enjoy it for what it is...land of the free and home of the brave with trees, mountains, valleys and room to just stretch out your arms if not just our minds.

Today my wife takes her team on a limo ride through downtown Nashville. Its a great day for that ,as well.
Vanderbilt University graduation is also taking place and the streets are packed with caps and gowns and aspirations. I got my Starbucks China Green Tips Tea for lunch and headed back to the office. The day continues and its end pursued.....

Thursday, May 11, 2006

The Pickle About Love

Precious, dear, treasured, beloved, valued, incredible, invaluable, God-fearing, amazing, enduring, flirty, quirky, nutty, interesting, crisp, sexy, alluring, unexplainable, bewitching, alluring, captivating, loyal, trustable, honest, unique, unfathomable, peculiar, stunning, vexing, perplexing, spell-binding, relentless, dazzling, motivating, inspiring, rosy, cheerful, pleasant, humbling, tender, soft, gentle, soft-spoken, meek, overwhelming, uncanny, whimsy, fun, articulate, classy, breath-taking, spunky, sophisticated, God-loving, intelligent, thoughtful, sensitive...

I can feel her energy reach for me at my slightest smile. I know she thinks of me often and her heart swells to accompany my beat. My skin, so smooth to her touch, melts from her gentle caress. She comes to the shores of my thoughts at the oddest of times; even more than often. Her generous boat swaying in the breeze of the waves threatening to fling her ashore. I am in awe of her and even that she is mine. I crave to breath the breath fresh from her nostrils that it may give me more insight to her loving tenderness. Her smile at me makes blood love veins and time embrace stillness; waiting for permission to begin again. I have seen existence pause when we embrace; I have seen reality sleep; I have seen our union for all time in just an instant.

She flows into my embrace like fresh water to an exhausted pitcher coating its sides, hugging its bottom and racing to it rim. Oh the wonders of the things God does and how He makes the impossible just so. Oh the mysteries of a man with his woman. So many things to share, whispering together in the dark of time and space; lounging in the expance of love's cozy quilt before the fireplace of eternity flirting with tomorrow.

How does it always get better. How is there always more. How is it always new and vibrant.
Please, pour me more wine, dear. I love you.


Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Don't Dump The Hump

Well, as I might have guessed....no dreams whatsoever last night. :(

It's been a typical Wednesday — LONG.... Notice how the things you LOOK for or really want are always so hard to catch. As usual the minute you stop looking for it; it shows up. That can be said of so many things. :D Anyway, today's blog is developing much like the cloudbanks outside my window....bit by bit and minute by minute. At least my brain is 90% with me today.


Tuesday, May 09, 2006


I have long feared that the mind may contain the past, present and future. In dreams, we go places, we meet people, we learn and understand new or old things. I am not convinced that they do not exist somewhere or somewhere else. The mind is like a book of many pages. In theory, before dreaming or losing conscienceness by sleeping or whatever, we are able to put a finger on the "reality" page or the page we are on and come back to it at the end of dreaming or sleeping. Sometimes the finger slips and we lose our place. We don't start back exactly where we were...maybe its a few pages/chapters forward or backward from before. Today is such a day for me. I lost my place.

I can feel my mind moving and see the world around me but I realize that I am not where I usually am...my vantage point is a little off from my norm. I am not sure what that means or how it will impact this day; but it will be different. It all started with a dream I had last night inwhich I think I was supposed to understand something. I didn't get it; I don't think I understood its meaning.

The Dream: The jest of the dream involved my mother who passed a year ago and I was back home but it seemed like I was my current age. It was kinda like only she could see me or my father could see me but not at the same time. Since he is still living; it looked like she was showing me him piddling around in the yard. Then I saw him sit in a swing and kinda reflect about missing her, being lonely or something. Then I would be with him just walking along talking about something while seeing her off to the side watching.

By the time my alarm went off; it was just getting to the point. I shut the alarm off and tried to go back but got stuck. My finger slipped out from between the pages and haven't been able to tell if I am on this side or still walking around the other side. I am almost a blur, barely visible. My mind is still searching for the page back...my soul still searching for the answer.... Is it just me or was it really some message I was supposed to get? Don't know...maybe I will get another chance. I suppose it should be said...it wasn't a sad kind of dream; just felt like there was a point to it. I don't understand how I could see two vantage points at the same time — in front of me and behind me but on the same plane of existence.

I am anxious to get back to sleep. Sometimes it's easier to just start over.


Monday, May 08, 2006

The Human Experiment

Hmmm....I had a great weekend. It was almost easy to get up when the alarm went off this morning. After showering and getting dressed, I made a huge honey-roasted turkey sandwich, kissed my wife goodbye and patted my dog's little head before going out the door. As I drove across a bridge with a casual stream weaving through brush and rock below; I wondered.

How many times have people or the world been created and destroyed? If people only use one tenth of their brains; why is the rest there? Has it already been used from before? If matter cannot be destroyed according to Einstein; then where does it go or what does it transform into? Where is the rest of us or even the better of us; is there a better us?

Even in Genesis, Cain and Able go to a far off place and beget wives?....but I thought their family was it, the beginning....? Where did the others come from? If aliens showed up with the same Bible; wouldn't that be interesting? hmmm....


Friday, May 05, 2006

Bone Chilling, Cranium Clogging and Toe Cramping

Well its Friday and here goes nothing....there are a lot of things to yack about today and I intend to get to everyone of them. This may not be for the faint at heart. Sensitive little feelings should flee with great scurry, avoiding even the light to glance at your face.

Tee Hee Hee....I always love to see fear in action. Its so predictable; just like the heart of man.

The Race Card I am going to let you in on a little secret I'M BLACK! I am one of those people that door locks close when I approach, purses get clutched just a bit tighter, service instantly gets worse when I sit down, blue lights are magnetized to my vehicle when I am in it......just kidding...no, not really. I grew up in the deep South and for the most part, life has been good to me. What I resent is when people of color "immediately" play the race card when its clearly something else. Say dead people voted in your election. Say you got pulled over for going 65 in a school zone. Say, oh say whatever, u know what I mean. Dont degrade serious matters with false and uneducated statements. A rape victim feels real pain; a false rape victim undermines the "real" victims. I don't mind giving to the guy standing on the corner who really is homeless; I resent giving money to the guy who is just earning a tax-free income. yada yada yada — u know what I mean.

Married People... Unhappy and Sexless It's sad to go to a restaurant and be able to pick out the married people. Its easy...look for the ones who hardly look at each other, practically no conversation and barely able to be at the same table. There may be many reasons; but who cares, GET HAPPY or Get packing! WHO wants to spend their whole life miserable. I dont advocate divorce and I don't reccommend marriage for everyone. I guess really good sex won't cure everything; that's why councelors were invented. Marriage is hard work...and since it's something that you will be doing 'til death do you part; put everything into it. Just cause you got it, is NO excuse to stop the romance, the chase, the magic of constantly falling for that cherished one...(the same one). I loved it when the preacher said...if the ceiling fan will hold you; go for it. It amazes me how hard people work to get someone and then they just quit once the goal is obtained. They let everything just go....nothing matters anymore now that the prey has been caught. ...enuf on that. Love the one u with. Everything's legal when you love together.......NO Goats allowed. Everything's got limits....I don't know who that's for; but I ain't takinin' it back.

Some Strange... You know what I mean. Yeah you do....yeah, that strange....remember the other day when you were just doing your own thing when .....yeah that strange....

Illegal Immigration: So last night I watched American Inventor. I thought it ironic that this gentleman from Russia who clearly loved his family and had lost his daughter to tradgedy was one of the finalists. He clearly was enjoying everything that America had to offer. I guess the disturbing thing about immigration is that folks are lumping together legal and illegal. America has long since accepted and even welcomed immigrants; but why should it if those immigrants aren't willing to "become" American. Its kinda like the SnoopDogg/Dr. Dre song liric "everybody's got they cup; but they aint chipped in..." Illegal immigration hurts everyone. Obviously, America is made up of lots of different kind of people — and that's good — but we must work through a solution for the millions who are not willing to legally enhance the quilt that is America. I fear one day (and its not really an "if" as much as a "when"); there will be no America as we know it, other than distant memories, legends and folklore. There will come a time when it is under the rule of other countries far less blessed; because She was more careless than thankful....but thats not in this blog.


Thursday, May 04, 2006

What Better Way.......

Its the end of the day and I cannot think of anything better to do than BLOG..... Its addictive....it makes you ravenous just to get stuff out of your head. Its been an extremely busy one; but its almost over. Since I get off at 4; its 5:00 somewhere; and that somewhere is just about now. So in case you have anxiously awaited today's blog; meet me back here early Friday morning for a bone-chilling, cranium-clogging, toe-cramping B—L—O—G......

How's that for a cliff-hanger.....
(Dont you hate it when people over promise and under deliver?)


Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Beware the Fog! The Truth IS in There....

I was up early this morning and ready to go. Upon leaving my home after kissing my wife goodbye, I was greeted by a vaporous veil of white-grey fog. It wrapped around everything and hung as low as the hemline on the halleluyah section. I easily dismissed it at first. As I drove further; it became increasingly apparent that this was a very dense fog. I could hardly see 10 feet in front of my windshield. In fact, if people did not have their headlights on; they vanished like ghosts in the fog as their distance increased. I studied the vanishing and appearing of things familiar. I even studied the things I had not remembered or noticed as I drove along. It was mesmerizing like fish darting to and from the tank wall...making you wonder if they really were aware of your presence.

I wonder: We all work, play and get busy. How much fog clouds or shrouds our daily lives from the little truths or even the things we take for granted that are gifts to us everyday. Life, health, strength, being born in America, mental faculties, etc.

The truth fades in and out of the fog like ghostly sentries fully armed using only their eyes to penetrate our souls. Dare we even to begin to harken? The truth vanishes at a glance but never really disappears — our eyes close from the sting of its reality; the wound of our insufficiency.

Really close friends are aware of our uglies and remain beside us in spite of ourselves. Hopefully, as the fog reveals its mysteries and realities; we are not found crashing into trees and rails forgotten or unseen before us. We all have accidents and imperfections!
Dear God, please, let us never be alone in the fog...especially when we insist.....


Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Where the Mind Goes; The Face Follows

pen·sive (pnsv) adj.
1. Deeply, often wistfully or dreamily thoughtful.
2. Suggestive or expressive of melancholy thoughtfulness.

I think; therefore I am

Ever wonder why someone asks; "what's wrong?" or "what are you thinking?"
The answer may be as close as the nose on your face...actually; as close as your face. Our thoughts often transform our face without our even knowing it.

experiment: Act and feel really happy; but frown...not so easy. Even if you feel horrible but put on a big goofy smile with your chest out and shoulders back; you begin to feel better...how odd.

I have been enjoying the delicious thunderstorm this morning. As it got darker, I caught my reflection in my computer monitor. Slightly startled; I ask myself "what must I be thinking?" Then I began to feel the melancholy ooze over my temples and down my cheeks. I have been told that I have a very expressive face; in fact, I am often unaware of the strange contorsions it may be exhibiting. Called the man of a thousand faces, I glared into the reflection, inspecting all the tiny shadows I saw staring back at me. I see you watching me; what do you want? I know you're all in there just waiting....


Monday, May 01, 2006

Holy Smokes, It's Monday Again!

It's easier to come back to work after a really good weekend. After a finishing Friday off with a long rest; it was good to awaken Saturday refreshed. We had a great time with Greg and Kelly at the mexican restaurant; then left and went to our home and had coffee, laughs and pound cake.

After we all yawned a couple of times; it was time to call it quits. I don't remember the hour; but Annie, as well as us hated to see them go. We are certainly looking forward to the next time. Greg has always impressed me with his discipline — working full time, going to school and raising a family! Then man definitely knows his way around a grill too....which is great for me...I know my way around a plate.

They are great friends and just good people...