I have long feared that the mind may contain the past, present and future. In dreams, we go places, we meet people, we learn and understand new or old things. I am not convinced that they do not exist somewhere or somewhere else. The mind is like a book of many pages. In theory, before dreaming or losing conscienceness by sleeping or whatever, we are able to put a finger on the "reality" page or the page we are on and come back to it at the end of dreaming or sleeping. Sometimes the finger slips and we lose our place. We don't start back exactly where we were...maybe its a few pages/chapters forward or backward from before. Today is such a day for me. I lost my place.
I can feel my mind moving and see the world around me but I realize that I am not where I usually am...my vantage point is a little off from my norm. I am not sure what that means or how it will impact this day; but it will be different. It all started with a dream I had last night inwhich I think I was supposed to understand something. I didn't get it; I don't think I understood its meaning.
The Dream: The jest of the dream involved my mother who passed a year ago and I was back home but it seemed like I was my current age. It was kinda like only she could see me or my father could see me but not at the same time. Since he is still living; it looked like she was showing me him piddling around in the yard. Then I saw him sit in a swing and kinda reflect about missing her, being lonely or something. Then I would be with him just walking along talking about something while seeing her off to the side watching.
By the time my alarm went off; it was just getting to the point. I shut the alarm off and tried to go back but got stuck. My finger slipped out from between the pages and haven't been able to tell if I am on this side or still walking around the other side. I am almost a blur, barely visible. My mind is still searching for the page back...my soul still searching for the answer.... Is it just me or was it really some message I was supposed to get? Don't know...maybe I will get another chance. I suppose it should be said...it wasn't a sad kind of dream; just felt like there was a point to it. I don't understand how I could see two vantage points at the same time — in front of me and behind me but on the same plane of existence.
I am anxious to get back to sleep. Sometimes it's easier to just start over.
hmmm....
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