Tuesday, February 27, 2007

10 Tips For Conquering Your Fears

Speed of Fear Rollercoaster
Thanks coastergallery.com.

Here's part of an email I received that really struck home hard. But first a little story. My wife and I went to Vegas and I had a severe "fear" of rollercoasters; or maybe it was just a fear of not being in control, being a helpless passenger. My freind Brown had given me a list of all the greatest rides and thrills and must-sees. Anyway, we decided to get on this coaster named "Speed." My guts were churning long before we got into line. After being in line, I kinda joked around to relieve my gnawing anxiety, trying to keep it hidden and appear cool about it all. Maybe it was 5 seconds that I turned back to her and made some wise crack as the car in front of me, being first in line, sped away! Then the most alarming thing happened; I heard the rushing wind of the car returning in maybe 5 blinks of my eyes. My heart was doing but-kicks at this point. "OMG!!! Is this the same coaster that JUST left?" we each thought to ourselves. Well, of course, we got in; afterall there was no way to get out of line. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! The little handles came down and I felt my mind leave my skull from the teeth-clenching speed of take-off! It was HORRIFIC at best! My forearms were getting sore just from my grip and my mind was debating death as I witnessed what was next on the ride — a gut-vomiting loop and plunge. My mind was lurching at full pace, trying to recapute any sense of control or bodily functions. Everything was threatening mutiny! What had I done? Even worse; I never gave my wife a second thought. Afterall, she loved these things! She's a "Cedar Pointe" lover.

Then in one agonizing second, I did it. I had caught up with everything. I was able to look around and see how much fun everybody was having. I was able to reason that kids do this all the time, surely I can, it's safe, this is entertainment! In these terrifying five seconds, I had been transformed. I WAS in control. I shouted and roared at its every turn and dip as if I were riding the metallic alligator under my own guise. My mind charged into every turn and every unknown lurking ahead. It was then that I looked over at my terrified wife next to me. This WASN'T her favorite ride...she did NOT like this coaster. In her infinite wisdom, she had bought us free rides for the rest of the night. I ran to get back in line, dragging her trembling body behind me. She was even more terrified the second time and I couldn't convince her into another attempt. Speed satisfied me. I stared into her razor-sharp glistening teeth and those empty void orbs with my lucid smile without coveting my fear any longer. I can still feel that fear if I try and remember it. IT was savage and all-consuming. It's still out there, just hidden in different endeavors. This is the email I received...

10 Tips for Conquering your Fears!

Have you ever had a fear that kept you from living life fully? Perhaps this fear has stopped you from having MORE fun or experiencing GREATER success. Yes? You're not alone. I have too.

What's your "rollercoaster"? I bet you have one, or many. We all do. What fear, if you conquered it, would allow you to have a bit more fun, experience greater success, or live life more fully? Some fears feel bigger to conquer than others. My rollercoaster fear may not seem like the biggest fear one could have, but having it caused me to isolate myself from people and kept me from having MORE fun, joy and exhilaration in my life.

Conquering your fears, one by one, builds confidence and increases your quality of life. Don't let your fears hold you back from living the life you wish you were living.

10 Tips For Conquering Your Fears:

   1. Recognize a fear is present
   2. Declare you are going to conquer the fear
   3. Expect to feel anxious, awkward and scared
   4. Consider copying a style you like until you find your own style
   5. Focus your attention
   6. Motivate yourself with affirmations
   7. Step into the fear with abandon
   8. Let go and have fun! Remind yourself to keep breathing
   9. Pat yourself on the back when it's over
   10.Notice how much easier it gets

When you have time, take a personal inventory of the fears keeping you from living the life you want. Then make a commitment and challenge yourself to face and conquer one them that's been holding you back. Use the tips above to guide your way. To get started, see if any common fears from the list below fit you:

Admitting mistakes or wrong-doings. Adventure. Being inadequate/not good enough. Doing something you've never done before. Expressing yourself. Failure. Healing emotional wounds. Health concerns. Money/finances. Never having enough. Public speaking. Promoting yourself. Saying "NO". Sharing your feelings. Taking a risk, such as starting a business or changing careers. Traveling.

And once you've figured out what your fears are... CONQUER them!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Friday Fixins...Hot Chicken Quesadillas

HOT Chicken Recipe Below!!!!

Well it's Friday; so I have dubbed it "Fixins' Friday." As I sit here typing away, the aroma of delicately well-prepared chicken quesadillas fills my imagination. It's no secret that one of my favorite things to do is cook; second only to eating. It's probably true what they say about the road to a man's heart is thru his stomach. I have known some fantastic cooks. Cooks typically have a signature dish that everybody knows them for. (nuf said) Let's cook!



yummy quesadillasINGREDIENTS:
2 teaspoons Olive oil
2 Boneless chicken breasts, -cut into strips
2 tablespoons Chili sauce
1 Jalapeno pepper, seeded and diced
4 Eight inch flour tortillas
1 cup Shredded Cheddar cheese
4 teaspoons Canola oil or vegetable oil

Preheat griddle or large shallow frying pan on medium heat on top of the stove. Add the olive oil to the hot pan. Place the chicken strips, chili sauce and jalapeno pepper in the pan and saute until cooked through, approx. 3-5 minutes.

Remove and reserve. Wipe the pan clean. Place the chicken mixture on one half of each of the 4 flour tortillas. Sprinkle with cheese and fold over to form a half circle. Again, preheat pan on medium. Oil the cooking surface with one tsp. Canola oil. Place a filled tortilla on the cooking surface.

Cook until light brown. Turn. Repeat with the other three tortillas. Slice each tortilla into three wedges and serve with salsa and black beans.

Yield: 4 Servings
Category: Appetizers, Chicken

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Ahhhh.... smells DELICIOUS!!!!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

I Miss You Later, Good-Bye

eternal eyes

Today's blog may seem a bit more strange than usual...but maybe you have had the same experience and this might make some sense on some physioemotional level.

Incident One: I had a friend back in 3rd grade that was hit and killed by a car. He was a good friend. At school the next day, a small group of us were sitting in the lunch room talking about him. So at some point, we are in deep conversation about him and asking the typical questions among ourselves we all suddenly stop and call his name. It was odd that we all did this at once staring in shock at each other then in one direction. We looked toward the lunchroom doom and then it opened and closed the same speed both ways. Yeah, we all felt "funny" but changed the subject. Nobody came in (at least visibly) and nobody was outside; so go figure....

Incident Two:I was attending a funeral of a close elder friend last year. An odd breeze came from nowhere with an erie feel. I was overwhelmed with the need to look to the left and so I did. What I thought I saw was this: I looked over my shoulder to the left as they were lowering the casket into the grave, hearing occasssional clumps of dirt fall when I looked. There I saw or I imagined (I don't know) my recently passed mother standing at one of the tombstones smiling at me as only a mother would. Granted it was an emotional day; but I was overcome with a peaceful feeling and a bizarre joy. I went back to watching the casket lowering into the ground; the words of the preacher seeming almost from a distance as some of my memories stream through of the times my mom and I had eaten together and laughed and the times I had seen motherly pride in her eyes and smile. The person in the casket was like another mother; I wondered if they would meet or know each other over there. I watched the people's faces and listened to the occassional breeze wondering if my imagination was real. I scanned the graveyard just in case there was somthing in the distance that I wasn't noticing. I remember several balls of light; but again, maybe I was imagining them. I still don't know and I guess I don't have to be sure at this point.

Those are just two incidents. Is "beyond" far from here? Is there already "here?" What is the toll to travel the bridge between here and there? Scripturally, you will be known as you were known...so they say. I wonder if some people or "spirits" get to hang around a little longer than others. There are times that I can "feel" or think I do, presences; then there is a point at which they are completely "gone." Perhaps that is fully crossed over. Which brings into question another blip on the modern TV-scape, John Edwards — the man who claims to talk with the other side. Hmmm...I have never met him and don't know him, so I cannot make any judgements there. I guess I conclude this blog with a quote from one of my very favorites..."The truth is out there..."

...just curious....are there more of us out there who have had these experiences or what do you think?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Will You Go With Me

Josh Turner with guitar

His voice comes across the air with a definitive maleness. It's much deeper than one might expect from such a boyish appearance; but quality is quality and he's got it. Josh Turner. My drive into the city was almost slow but still enjoyable. Riding in my convertible bug, zooming between cars and 18 wheelers, this song drove me into the past. I thought about all the great stories and fascinating places, peoples and experiences I have had just because "she went with me." As she will attest; I don't usually know where I am going; but we always end up there. I am not a fan of maps unless I am pressed by time or gas. I have an eighth sense that gets me to places; even if my destination is nowhere. That's pretty cool. Here are just a few of the words...

Would You Go With Me
~~~ Josh Turner ~~~
Would you go with me if we rolled down streets of fire
Would you hold on to me tighter as the summer sun got higher
If we roll from town to town and never shut it down
Would you go with me if we were lost in fields of clover
Would we walk even closer until the trip was over
And would it be okay if I didn't know the way ...more

Life is a funny thing; like dry sand on a beach. If you squeeze it too tight, you lose more of it. If you add water, it sticks together. If you share it with friends, it is a lot of fun. You can use life to make great things or be greatly annoying [sand is somebody else's shorts; that's annoying]. You get to choose. You don't always get to chose love; typically it chooses you. You get to chose to hang 10 or wipe out.

I arrive today, like most, thankful. I watched Deal or No Deal last night to see this Asian family who came to this country with $750 and now their son was about to win $750,000. The son, in his wisdom, only wanted enough for a great honeymon and family. He made a deal because of his instincts instead of being greedy. Ironicly, he/they grew up in a trailer park and he learned English from watch country music videos. Of course, he is a great fan and good at Kareoke and clogging [that was a nice dose of culture shock profiling for me]. Either way, it cannot be argued that they started out with very little. Through their joy and hard work; they have accomplished much. The mother and father had been together for many years and gone through much together. Destiny repaid their faithfulness. I am certain that coming to a strange country with only $750 would strain any relationship. What I like about this story is the LACK of moaning, complaining, blaming, excuse-oriented, I deserve mentality that westerners so easily fall into. Somewhere in their story is the secret to happiness beyond circumstances. That's what I want to be guilty of.

Monday, February 19, 2007

I'll Be Back; Lessons from the Terminator

Terminator 2

There are very few movies that I watch more than once and even fewer I watch more than twice. One of my favorites, Terminator II, I have seen more than six times. If I happen to flip by it, I am always persuaded to stop and watch. governor of CAI respect what the actor behind the character has accomplished too. Afterall, isn't he the "American Dream?" He comes from a foreign country (does what it takes to become legal citizen), finds his gifting, makes no excuses about his condition, works his way to the top of bodybuilding, works his way to the top of action-heroism, marries into one of the most powerful political families and becomes the governor of California, USA. Has America not always been about somebody with very little means working hard and never giving up until they attain their dreams? Everybody smiles at the nice-looking, rich guy/girl; they only step on or ignore anything less until they are forced by the power of the success to notice the tiny human they discarded. That's real life.

Anyway, Arnold's story is beyond impressive. He has had some really great lines down through his career and all these sort of things. There is something about that story that just rings to my core. What I like about the Terminator, he does what he must to survive and to protect those in his care; even at the risk/need of self termination. As the terminator, he was the perfect father; he would never come home drunk and beat his kid. As the terminator, he was the perfect protector; he would always carry out his mission and not be distracted by his own needs or desires. As the Terminator, he understood in spite of all his power, the power of love; that he did sacrafice himself for humanity and its future. One of his greatest lines was "I'll be back!" Just cool movie stuff! But wait, doesn't that story seem familiar...who was that other guy with the cross?

Is our enemy not a shape-shifter, a manipulator of our wants, fears, desires and lusts? Is he not a sworn enemy of the Terminator?
I cannot take credit for this realization. I heard a great sermon Sunday using that infamous line, "I'll be back!" by one of my great pastors, Tim Johnson, formerly of the Washington Redskins. It was worth getting the tape and worth remembering for the future. P.S. This Wednesday nite at 7pm will also be a hum-dinger! If you're close, drop in....casual...jeans and shirt. :D

Friday, February 16, 2007

Wisdom of the Generations; Perspective from the Rear

Al Keil

It's always been true that I have gotten along with those older than myself as opposed to those of the same or younger age. Time has not changed that. I had the pleasure of visiting with my father-in-law this past week. It was much cooler here than Las Vegas.

We had a great visit. My wife and I were greatly pleased and thrilled that he would spend a week with us here in snowy TN. Our kids had a great time talking with Grandpa too. I typically get to see my Dad at least monthly; so I know my sweetie enjoyed having the opportunity to spend so much time with him. I think the last time he was actually here was proabably 5 yrs ago. Due to his health, it's easier for us to hop a plane or drive to him. In spite of it all, we had great food, stories, fun, laughter, pound cake and Early Times.

I am convinced that we all have something to contribute and there is a great deal to be learned from those who have experienced the past. We listened to yarn after yarn as the kids sat with their girlfriends were mesmerized by the delightful tales of Alfred. The journeys one makes in a lifetime are typically beyond what the journeyer ever imagined; the same is probably true in this case. As his darkest son-in-law; we oddly have a remarkable number of things in common. We each love history, philosophy, poetry and classical music among other things. That always makes for a humorous and splendid conversation or two or three or more. In the immortal words of my own father; well there are at least three of his sayings we kids still repeat as adults: 1) Oil and water are the life of a motor, 2) Just because the light is green; doesn't mean go, and 3) Boy, for children and wife, I've done a lot of things I said I would never do. Al has that same down to earth spark about him; that craving for the practical/functional piece of information that Joe Blow can use immediately. People understand that and "real folks" [ that's a TN term for family-centered, down home types"] just get being down to earth and comfortable with who they are regardless of who or what everybody else does.

I remember my great grandpa; he was my Paul Bunyan! He could spin a tale bigger and wider than the Mississippi River. In fact, rumor has it that he once through a baseball over the Tennessee River. Anyway, what future will our children have if they miss out on the living past? The "grand-generation" has a vast wealth of truths and funnies to be shared. Yes, somethings have changed and maybe what used to be isn't anymore; but love and truth will always prevail. Whether we decide to get on the bus or under it's wheels, the truth marches on, people are people and everybody dies and answers to one God. Don't go along; get along.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Love Is A Helium Balloon

Valentine's Day Balloons

Today's blog is a celebration of the greatest of all human gifts; one we have all received and one that we can give — LOVE. Tis the holiday of lovers and those who aspire to its lofty, cozy snow-capped peaks nuzzled in...Valentine's Day! There are various origins to this noble holiday but I won't be expounding on those in this blog. However; since I knew you wanted to know, I know where to send you. Click Here!

Love is a helium balloon. How do you say? [pretend I said that with an Antonio Badaras accent] Well, there are various similarities and thus here we go. Helium balloons are full of a mysterious gas that makes its container lighter, freeer than anything around it. In fact, to steal a line from Red Bull; it gives you wings! How uniquely love once filling its occupant, transforms the view of its eyes, uplifts the stress of its soul and relieves its void of the need we all bear at some time or other. But of course; let me not neglect what it does to the heart. Roughly the size of a human fist, this really important organ swells to a proportion dwarfing not only the cranium (head) but the entire body...in fact it becomes two of you. People notice one and they sense the other.

The funny part about helium balloons; everybody wants to talk funny; they want to feel the joy of laughter, to actually hear their own laughter and to see others laugh with and at them laughing. Hence; I say that to cover all of you who love to suck in the helium and talk funny. Hey, now that's love! Everyone looks at you funny and even wonders what you might do next. In fact, maybe they have never seen you this way before; they hope for the miracle but can't resist watching for sake of the possible train wreck. They are magnetized to the situation and it's alluring presence. Love seduces everything around it.

Ah yes, what about the string. Well, you won't go far without a celebration going on that has kids holding their balloon by the string! Funny, kids always come up when love is an issue. Christ talks many times about love and children and the capacity of each to embody the other in the most profound and innocent of ways. The string of love has a way of wisping together two things that can be extremely different or even similar enough to be different. Let's face it; if couples were exactly alike; what would be the use. [Ok...I heard that; you know what I meant. That was such a twisted thought]. Anyway, ever notice the balloon that escaped, desperate hands always chase the string for what is symbolizes, for what it is connected to, for the joy that comes from possessing its captive — i.e. the balloon. [whew...nuf said on that one. So many uses for good balloon string....but that's another blog :D]

Isn't it funny that you can see a balloon drifting in the sky and we all have the same first thought. I wonder who "lost" their balloon? Right? Then you stand there and watch it drift higher or wonder where it's going or where it's going to land or what kind of journey did it survive. Aye, the best loves have survived many a journey. In fact, we marvel at the incredible journeys that should have "popped" along the way but somehow they didn't. It just keeps going and it just keeps surviving. That's exciting!

Love is a helium balloon. It seems like only yesterday my balloon was given to me. It seems like only yesterday it was so precious that I would use two hands to hold the string in case one slipped. It seems like only yesterday it made me talk funny or walk on air rising above all odds to survive and even thrive, laughing along the way. My, how time flies when you're having fun. It's been practically twelve years since our eyes met and destiny tied us together. Your smile is still magic. Your touch is still craved. Your presence is still required. Your love is still mine, giggling in my soul, making my spirit smile in its oddest of ways. Happy Valentine's Day!

valentine's day desk

Monday, February 12, 2007


It's Monday again. I had a great weekend full of life, love and family. No complaints here. My two nephews enjoyed their birthday celebrations as well did the adults around them. It's funny watching children open presents; you learn alot about human nature. Even more interesting is to watch the people watching the children open presents — there's a great deal more insight to be absorbed.

There's something special about birthdays! They only happen once. It is probably the surest sign that each of us was meant to be here. The who, what, why, when and where are always to be discovered later. There's oceans of philosophy on destiny and and all that good stuff; and our discussion of it here would only raise the water-level slightly; so I won't in this blog. The crisp air here in Nashville, painted and framed by cool gray clouds signal that more percipitation is coming...winter's not over yet. The birth of a day is the morning. There is a certain way the wind blows, the way the sun rises and the clouds skip across the sky that lend indications of the kind of day you may be about to experience. At this point, for me, who knows. Anything could happen. That's Ok. I will deal with whatever comes. The timespan of a moment can be fleeting or forever; we still have the power to chose how we want to impact and engage our world today.

Funny story, but not really. My nephew Christopher (5yrs old) was playing a game with his neighbor who is 50+yrs old. Apparenty, things weren't going well. My nephew responded to him by saying, "Uncle Micheal says you always have to try." Of course the neighbor's response was funnier than I am going to tell you; but something tells me, you will figure it out anyway. Kids are tiny seeds planted into our lives and entrusted into our care to be watered, nurtured and cared for. Their minds are little sponges; even when we don't intend to; we influence them; so be ever mindful of the water you add to the seed. He's a funny little character full of wonder and cheer and intelligence. His mind is always at work. There's so much to be remembered and relearned from watching and being around kids. Even Jesus loved having children around and encourages us to be as little children in our approach toward Him. In another incident with his mother, they were making a cake. He informed her that Aunt Pickle and Aunt Michelle used a mix thing (mixer). He went on to say, "I know you can do it, Mommy." How do you doubt that kind of faith; how do you live without it, why would you want to? He comes by most things honestly, the men of his family are traditionally great cooks. I watched him hold a mixer while making a pound cake with my wife for 40 minutes persistently making tiny circles as more ingredients were being added; patient and confident in his efforts.

swimming lizard

Friday, February 09, 2007

The Other Side...of the week...

Well its been an extremely long and slow week full of diverse attentions. But at last it's Friday and I am forging through. The other side of the hill is in sight and I can see the path before me just before gravity makes my full commitment. A man's home is his castle. Hopefully your castle is safe, peaceful and full of joy. It is my refuge from everything outside my heart. I like that. It may rain, sleet or even snow; I don't care; I will be home. Well I will have to go out occassionally; but I prefer to go out when it might be just a bit dangerous/adventurous. My nephews will celebrate birthdays this weekend. It will be nice to see their cheer and zest. Kids have a way of enjoying life that most of us adults have long forgotten. I never want to forget the energy and thrill from just doing something for the fun of it and having an outlook that more fun is around the corner. May my best days always be ahead. I have a giant Superman coloring book for just such a break from adulthood. There's nothing like a 64 Crayola Crayon box with the sharpener in back and a full coloring book sprawled out on the floor as you color into a mental release. It helps if you hang your tongue out just a bit. Sometimes I even get family and friends to join me. It reminds me of things I really like: jumping in mud/water puddles, blowing bubbles, making airplanes, doodling, making paper boats, walking in the tall grass and jumping into a huge pile of leaves. That's the magic of innocent imaginations. I never needed video games or thought about blowing up things....guess I was kinda boring. I am convinced that the world would have more happy adults if we stay kids.

It will also be a great weekend for some good cuddling. The weather outside is frightful.... That will be nice too. Have a great weekend and do something unimportant and see the power of small things. Hello Utah, CA, FL, GA and of course TN friends.

lizard painting

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Purple Prince, Pink Floyd and Immortal Men

big shiny diamonds

Well, I watched the SuperBowl and most of its commercials. But those who know me best, know I really don't care much about sports. I would rather play than watch. Put me in the game, coach! Sidelines are for wiennies and want-a-bees. Glad Manning finally got his. The most memorable thing about it was how cautious everything was done...obvious backlash from the Janet Jackson incident. However; the Purple One still managed to sneak something erotic into primetime anyway. But this blog ain't about none of that. The best part wasn't that two black coacches went into the SuperBowl; I would rather be the best whatever who happens to be black, not the best "black" whatever — I don't subscribe to those kinds of limits. This blog is about the power of Man to "choose" to be bigger than his circumstances; to realize there is a bigger game in town than men in tights chasing balls [there's a lot of games centered around balls; but that's another blog. Anyway....]. My friend Bendy said it well in reference to Tony Dungy, coach of the Colts. Real "class" has no color and is not confined to any one "race" of man. I heard a song that I cannot stop listening to on the way to work or anywhere else. The Pensive One sent this one my way by Pink Floyd. These men who have etched places in history are as "Crazy Diamonds." They have paid the price to shine, to blind us with their "bling bling" of character; not jewelry. Hats off to Tony Dungy!

Shine On!
Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom, blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter, come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision, rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter, you piper,
you prisoner, and shine!

[Man, I dig those crazy art types.] Cool song. I really like the reference "Crazy Diamond!" Are we willing to endure the heat and pressure required to become a diamond? There really cannot be any glamour involved in the thick of it. Even in February (Black History Month), I sit and listen mostly to music with no words (freeer mind that way) and try to imagine the severe challenges of blackness not only during Civil Rights but during slavery. Yeah, I hear a bunch of macho talk and slander about what so-and-so would have done; and frankly, that's BS! If you really allow your mind to enter the genre and realize that anywhere you could have gone would have treated you the same, if not worse — that really sets up a landscape for the terror and violence best served by the legendary "South." Anyway, I, and anyone should honor those who have suffered for the betterment of generations to come. Not only is it tough on the person willing to stand against the system; but it's the family that suffers the brunt of any rebellion or penetration of the collective consciousness with new ways and ideas. Self-sacrafice is one thing; but be forewarned, anything attached to you goes in the pot too. Men like King, Douglas, Malcom, Washington, along with women like Tubman, Wheatley, Winfrey and Walker have transformed the landscape of America and history as we live it. If we spend our time hating the past or its merchants of disdain; we will have darkly influenced the future and missed our calling, dimmed our character and missed our opportunity to fortify the ... land of the free and the home of the brave. That's the end of the Star Spangled Banner or is it? There's actually more; but "we" ignored it. See for yourself...

lizard cowboy

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Raging Fires; Burning Loved

flame of love

Roses have thorns and fire is best hot.

Hmmm....I have been away for a bit but none the less, full of stuff [ha ha ha, I heard that]. Anyway, [oh great, I am talking to myself again] sometimes you have things that you want really bad. You pray about them, you hope for them, you want them; then you get tired of waiting and decide to act. It is typically then, after you have run out of patience and time that the long awaited answer comes. It's even worse when you have those who are counting on you for direction and protection. Sometimes the right [what do you mean "sometimes?"] choices are the hardest to make. Hopefully you have the guts, strength, ignorance or faith to make the hard calls. My faith is sometimes stronger than my deodorant and at others, it might be considered as light as fresh cotton candy....either way; it doesn't go away. I like that about it, about Him, about His faithfulness. He always comes through; never quite how I planned; but nonetheless, faithful. The bright side is meeting some really great people in the process. I have no idea what it all means except there are no accidents.

I was never born under a pew; some might argue that point. Life is tough as a PK [I am not even going to define this one] and only slightly less bad as an honorary PK. Sometimes its just frustrating being "the goody two shoes" or "Mr. Sunshine" on the block. Thank God for a strong family, good friends and a great wife. We are surrounded with opportunities to help someone all the time. I guess it is better to give than to recieve. [ok, what does this paragraph have to do with this blog or anything else today?]

Anyway, this blog is suposed to be about something inspite of its rambling nature. [Don't you hate it when all people do is talk about themselves; why are you still reading this?] I am so thankful for my beautiful little wifey. She's the only one I have ever "hunted" [and I mean that in the most primal way]. Everything else was a leaf falling from a tree; but this one was forged for the fire, I HAD to keep it. And so it goes. I was right. Sometimes you don't know if you made the right decisions until on down the road. Well I have been down the road and not alone. Even to this day; some fourteen years later, I wonder how I can still treasure something that much, how it can still be precious and "new" and so worth whatever it takes or must be endured — that is amazing to me! I know me. My typical relationship-lifespan is roughly 3yrs max [you people, don't tell those people what that means]. So I love the warm toasty feeling of the raging roaring fires of love and what that really means in depth. It is a constant burning that produces deeper intimacy, deeper trust, deeper respect and a never-ending voyage into each other. Man, that's real goat gravy! It's nice being surprised!

writing lizard at mahogany desk

Friday, February 02, 2007

We Are? Really?

under tree-dusty wind

The earth was slathered with "sky gravy" like a southern fried plate special from somewhere deep in Georgia, barely capable of holding all the coated contents. I would occasionally see a green sprout peeking from below the peaceful snow blanket, shivering in the chilly breeze. So quite, undisturbed, pure-looking...I paused to take in my morning vision before leaving for the office. It was a nice slow drive, moving like perfect gravy on a warm plate, in no hurry to get anywhere; just to get there. Pink Floyd, Darkside of the Moon filled my car as the wheels talked with the salty asphalt. It was the song after that that wouldn't stop playing for the rest of the day. Dust In The Wind. These lyrics make time immortal. They have the beauty of perfectly chilled jello on a trembling saucer.

I close my eyes
Only for a moment, then the momen't gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind
All they are is dust in the wind Same old song
Just a drop of water in an endless sea

dandylion in the windActually it's a beautiful dank, dingy day! Moments fly by so quickly we take them for granted. My nephew came over for an hour last night and we played ATV and Tony Hawk: Project 8. His little mind has grown so quickly from seeing him a week ago. It seems like only yesterday I was at the hospital holding him as his proud parents looked on. I can see the genius behind his eyes...so much there waiting to be discovered and unleashed.

It is true; we are dust and there is wind. Wind broken stinks. Lives broken thunder through generations of men. All our gifts are so precious; will we stop watching our own feet long enough to direct those after ours? What lies beyond the dust? Have you seen the face of the wind? Children have a sacred beauty like fresh snow. Whether they are quiet or loud; there presence covers everything with a spirit of hope, purity and love chilling us with warm dreams.

dust devil in road

In only an instant, we will be gone. What did we leave behind? Did we earn what was left to us? Did we multiply the talents entrusted to us?

my lizard