You have heard many times that words have power. Today's blog is a reflection from a not-so-easy discussion I had this weekend. My aim was to help two people who obviously care about each other to get beyond what and how they've always viewed life and themselves. I have no idea if I was successful. The proof will be in the pudding. I have witnessed the power of old words and labels slapped on people at young ages. They tend to stick around a while...maybe even til death. It never ceases to occur that ehe words "always" or "never" also come up in these conversations. It's really easy as an adult to let past failures or hurts rob us of trust, happiness, peace and even self esteem.
How do you change what you've always done for 10, 20, 50 years? Do you ever get too old to look at something a different way or change your own reactions to the same situations? The answer is NO; but its much easier said than done. My father has said many times, "your word is only good if you live it." As I grow older, it seems harder to find those who will actually do what they say or understand the value of not saying if you MAY not do. SO when I do encounter one; I tend to listen, watch and figure out how to stay around such individuals. Anyway, it was a slightly tough conversation in that I knew it had to be gentle but direct and somewhat defiant to even be received. My only credit with this individual is my life and my word. At some point, I finally had to leave it at the realization that what I am saying may not make sense; but trust me. That sounds cavalier; but I do take my word very seriously (good or bad) and those who know me; know that to be true.
How does the past trap us? Is it really "them" or is it a cleaverly disguised "us?" Do these things only happen to us or do they "only" happen when we are involved? Strong questions; scarey answers! Sure, there will be those that you just stay away from, cut, completely disassociate with for all the right or wrong reasons. That happens. But these questions still have merrit in every situation.
I am always encouraged by old people who are still bold, secure and happy enuf to change. Someone once said (perhaps Mahammed Ali) "you can tell how old someone is by how hard they resist change." I dont mind getting old so long as I can stay young at heart and not too wise to listen and learn or consider a new idea. In this conversation, it helped to point out the things that were already "confirmation" that things "always" done or said from the past were not true. Kill the negative self-talk; or it will kill you. I hope he heard my sincerity and love in my less-than-adequate words. To love something is to be willing to be hurt by it and keep coming back. I couldnt leave without expressing my proudness and commitment.
Seeds are planted everyday by our thoughts, words and deeds. The environment of our lives allow them to grow or die and to pass along that same attribute to whatever we pass near. Some days are certainly better than others; but I sure hope you see what I am saying. SOMEBODY you already know or have always known probably needs your smile today, your pat on the back, that easy nod or handshake that turns the tide. Don't be shy and don't be self-absorbed. Yes, its scarey and may not turn out like you wanted; but its worth it everytime not to be afraid of the next time. Here are some great quotes about words and whom they were uttered by:
Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs. --Pearl Strachan
Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so he is. --Publilius Syrus
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. –Jesus Christ
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. – Plato
Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness. --Margaret Millar
After all is said and done, more is said than done. --Unknown
The words we say will teach if we practice what we preach. --Unknown
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. --Ambrose Bierce
Of those who say nothing, few are silent. --Thomas Neiel
The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone? --
Ecclesiastes 6:11
Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill. --Buddha
If you think little of a person, you ought to say as little as you think. –Benjamin Franklin
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.--Harriet Beecher Stowe
When deeds and words are in accord, the whole world is transformed.
Chuang Tzu
It is in our lives and not our words that our religion must be read.
Thomas Jefferson
Well done is better than well said. ~Benjamin Franklin
An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied. ~Arnold Glasow
Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned. ~Peter Marshall
Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold - but so does a hard-boiled egg. ~Author Unknown
Don't find fault. Find a remedy. ~Henry Ford
Success will never be a big step in the future, success is a small step taken just now. ~Jonatan Mårtensson
As I grow older I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. ~Andrew Carnegie
People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do. ~Lewis Cass
"Sometimes our actions are much more meaningful than words. A hug can sometimes express more than our words will ever express. Sometimes, just being there to listen is more meaningful and helpful to people." Catherine Pulsifer
"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." Ralph Waldo Emerson
I look forward to aging everyday. I look forward to learning something new, meeting new people and sometimes, changing what I used to think. Like the heavy fog on the morning commute; our lives emerge from ourselves into a more clear image of making what we intended closer to what we did. Just think of the last week. Did you say anything that you have seen happen or maybe you didnt realize it til now; but yes, it did! Then why not more....
1 comment:
Wisdom, like all energies are never waisted as the core of them go somewhere.
You were changed from your time spent teaching, so there was no waste of energy or time.
Someday your words may come back to you when you need them most.
Meanwhile, your gift to pontificate and lead were strong this weekend.
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