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Monday, December 08, 2008

I'll Be Home for Christmas







Thats the title of a great song that always reminds me of my mother's smile. It was something about the idea of surviving all year to be able to return home as confirmation to my parents that all the hard times were worth it. Its one of those understoods that is expected of you after you've been away all year whether thats college or adulthood. It gets a little more complicated after you're married deciding who and which and when that trip happens. Regardless of any logic, it's still expected that you'll be home for Christmas. Its a given....like Mother's Day.


I don't go home as often these days. She's no longer with us. I wonder sometimes if its the knowing that keeps me away or am I really that busy or that otherwise obligated. You learn real quick where the glue was when its gone and all the excuses fall away when there's noone else to blame. Fathers are great but they arent mothers. Let's face it, men get off easy when it comes to children and all the responsibilities they create. In fact, some just check out for a new deal. Mothers tend to believe and hope no mater what completely unconditionally. Now, that doenst mean that you wont hear about it twenty-four seven; but their love never dwindles.


There's a crisp in the air, second only to that Halloween breeze that ushers summer away. Its this time of the year that Bing Crosby can be heard in the background singing "I'll be home for christmas" as you remember the smile in the voice asking when you're coming. Its amazing and terrifying what women endure for their children. Men dont seem to have that same commitment/burden built into their souls. I can remember even on my worst days how my mother would always still be worried about any and everything she couldnt change or dissuade me from doing.

Bing Crosby>


I was fortunate. She was there to see my highschool graduation, college graduation, wedding, love my bride and dance one last time...."Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. When its moving pictures, its worth a thousand paragraphs. Home reminds us of our duties that can be easily ignored because we are "busy" with our own lives. Home regrounds us with purpose and a launchpad for future inspirations/aspirations. Home reminds us of our dreams as little kids when nothing was impossible. Home convicts us of being loved no matter what; the security of "always." Yeah, I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.....





2 comments:

Linda Russell said...

I miss her too...

Andrew Stanfield said...

Fathers have that domestic pull, but a mother's has to be one of the most integral parts of who she is. They carried that child inside them and suddenly it's a living, breathing, talking soul- there can be no greater privilege or responsibility.